The date.
My reaction- eh. Not good, not horrible, just eh. I think I was more disappointed than anything. And I know it sounds shallow to admit, but my disappointment is based in the looks department. And let me also preface this portion of the post with the admission that yes, I am aware that I'm being superficial, and yes it bothers me. If Tuesday's episode of Lost was any indication, than would I really mind a tropical island with polar bears and numbered bunnies as being hell? Not so much. I'll have a killer tan while I'm in hell.
So, my cousin and I instant message most of the day while we're at our respective jobs. She knew about my impending date, and asked if I had found him on facebook. We'll call him Emeril. I told her I had looked for Emeril but didn't have any luck. Literally .5 seconds later, she immed me "I think this is him!!! HE'S CUTE!" and of course I was psyched. I checked out the profile, which was under high lockdown (only visible was the profile pic, hometown and current town) and figured that it probably was him. Current and former city matched and there was a resemblance to my former student, we'll call her Mary.
Um hi, he was cute! I'd even be tempted to use the word hot!!! I was so excited. I let myself think, this could really be it!? We talked on the phone a few times and he was super nice, loved going out, being with friends, was handy (went to a vocational high school) and generally seemed like a good guy. I was really excited for the date- holy crap, what if he seriously became my next relationship! What I've been waiting for for legit, five years! Awesome!
So fast forward a few days and it's D-day. I had a really relaxing day, slept in a little, went for a run outside, cleaned my house, leisurely showered and got ready. He picked me up at my house around 5 (it was a school night so we went to an early dinner) and when he got out of the car I hope the disappointment I felt wasn't apparent on my face. People who know me know I can't hide how I'm feeling on my face, you can read it from a mile away. Granted he doesn't know me so hopefully I'm in the clear. He wasn't horrendous looking, it's not like Sloth from the Goonies got out of the car to open my car door for me, but let's just say the person standing in front of me didn't match the facebook profile picture I had seen. Visuals would help but I would be a total bitch and it wouldn't be right for me to use his actual facebook pictures.
Ok, I looked online for an equivalent photo of a young, good looking Portuguese man but all that came up was pictures of jelly fish. Not helping. Well, let's just say that if you grew up in Southeastern Massachusetts you can spot an attractive, well-dressed Portuguese man. Or at least form an image in your head of one.
This is what came out of the car and double-cheek kissed me:
Yes, that is Emeril from the Food Network. Except my Emeril had a goatee. And was a bit thinner. Legit Emeril look-alike. And my Emeril likes to cook too...seriously?
So after the awkward double-cheek kiss (I was so thrown off) he opened my car door (point) and we set off to go eat. We ended up at Not Your Average Joe's which is the way to my heart, really. I love that place. Dinner was good, I had two ruby red margaritas with dinner (in addition to the two glasses of wine I had before he picked me up) and after dinner we decided to go get a drink at the Airport Grille. I will fully admit that I just wanted to go home, see my boyfriendboy who had planned on coming by after the date so we could watch The Pacific and How to Make it in America and relax. But I was a good sport and agreed to the drink.
So we get to the Airport Grille, which I love. The decor in the lounge reminds me of Casablanca, love it. So I had another glass of wine. He had two glasses of wine at dinner I think, and a dessert wine at the Airport Grille. I don't know if it was the drink, the fact that I'm a good listener, my charm, or what but Emeril decided that it was completely appropriate to confide something in me that he hadn't even told his sister before. I'm not going to spill his trauma because it is exactly that, a trauma and I'm not trivializing or making fun of him at all, it's super serious. Super serious. I wouldn't even know what to do if my closest friend confided this to me. Let's say it's along the lines of him being the victim of a crime that someone committed and would most definitely go to jail for it. It's a despicable act.
But for some unknown reason Emeril felt that two hours after meeting me it was ok to drop this bombshell on me. I was speechless. Now, I'm not a pro at dating by any means but I am aware that the first date is supposed to be more light-hearted conversation, not life-altering/shattering confessional time.
So after we finished our drinks he drove me home, walked me to my door and double-cheek kissed me goodnight.
Sadly boyfriendboy had fallen asleep at home and wasn't coming over so I just went to bed a very disappointed little lady.
I compare this date to my three other successful first dates (The Ex, boy I dated for a month and boy I dated for two months) and it just falls flat. Those other three first dates there was attraction, excitement, an energy- if that makes sense. And also, when I'm drinking that usually makes me more lovey/flirty which didn't happen with Emeril.
And the poor guy sealed his fate by texting me, "Hey there mamasita. How's ur day so far? Those good vibes working for ya?"
Do I even need to explain that one any further?
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