My new obsession

(besides getting the last two issues of Domino magazine I need to have the complete collection- grrrr) is purchasing an antique/vintage typewriter.

There are a ton on ebay that aren't expensive! The cheap ones also don't guarantee that they actually type (you buy cheap you get cheap) but even some that say they do type aren't too bad!

If it's not one thing with me it's another entirely!!

Debbie Downer

I've been quite the Negative Nelly lately. There's been a lot of things on my mind, some probably not as big a deal as I'm making them, others quite upsetting and it's taken it's toll in the last few weeks.

Big picture topics of these issues are:
1. Boys
2. My weight
3. Weddings
4. Money
5. Cancer
6. Family

It's a constant cycle going through my brain right now. Some times are more stressful than others. I usually am good at differentiating between things I can control and things that are out of my control in terms of what to stress over and what not to stress over. I'm not doing so well where that's concerned right now.

Let's see, issue #1 is something I do have control over but at the same time do not. I feel like the scene in Sex and the City where the girls are out to break fast and Charlotte is super hungover and says exasperatedly, "Where is he already??? I've been dating since I was sixteen- I'm exhausted!" Granted I've only been dating since I was 18, was in a long-term relationship for five years where I had my heart ripped out of my chest, stomped all over and then shoved back in followed by two pseudo-relationships that lasted no longer than a month, and my current situation, a friend with benefits since roughly August of 09. I feel like I do nice things for people all. the. time. I don't do them in the expectation that I'm going to get something in return, but I'm hoping that karma is going to repay my good deeds at some point with a man who I want to marry and have children with. The waiting part is beginning to really suck and I'm not sure what to do about it. Not to mention that I'm pretty much the only single person out of my friends and family. Awesome.

Issue #2 definitely in my control. I like to whine and bitch that it isn't, but it so is. I simply wish I was the type of person who enjoyed working out, and who did not enjoy fat, not healthy for me food. Sadly since that is not the case I have to force myself to work out and eat healthy which turns them into chores that I don't want to do. If there's one thing I'm good at it's justifying not working out and not eating healthy. I did well on week 1 of the LBN diet; week 2...not shaping up so well.

Issues #3 and #4 go hand in hand. Weddings are expensive. Being in them, also expensive. I don't even know how I'm paying my own bills this summer, nevermind how I'm going to pay for a bachelorette party this Saturday, a wedding gift two weeks after that, drinks at said wedding (although my parents will be there so maybe they'll buy me a drink or two) followed by a J.Crew bridesmaid dress for second wedding of the summer, I'm assuming bridal shower and bachelorette for said second wedding, gifts for that wedding as well. Third wedding of the summer I'm not in but still am participating in shower and bachelorette festivities, gifting as well. There's whole other can of worms attached to issue #3, not one I'd like to get into on here though.

Also attached to issue #4 is this summer. I am making less at my new school and we do not get a balloon check to cover our pay in the summer as we used to at my old school therefor I am in dire straights for the summer. I have applied for summer school at both new and old schools in hopes that I get both. New school pays $27 an hour and I'd be teaching in the morning and old school pays $30 an hour and I'd be working in the afternoons writing grant plans for the students involved in the program like I did last summer. Praying. To. God. that I get those. Even one will do. Better than neither.

Sadly issues #5 and #6 go hand in hand as my aunt is currently dying from cancer. She lives in Vancouver which is located across the continent from where I'm located and my mother, her sister, has been flying back and forth to be with her. I don't want to type anymore because I'm about to cry and I'm still at work.

This is me in a nutshell right now. A hot mess.

Thoughts

Facebook has been blocked at school.

Our server has been acting up and I cannot get to gmail or our school's grade/attendance system X2. Progress reports need to be input tomorrow. I know I can input them at home, I think, I haven't tried X2 at home, but part of me feels like I shouldn't have to, it should be available at work. What a novel idea! I also feel anxious that I cannot check my email. Oh iChat isn't working either. I cannot chat with Nikki or Meaghan throughout the day. I feel very secluded.

On top of those communication issues there is a giant lack of cell phone service in our school so I can't even text during my prep without difficulty.

Giant FAIL for my school right now.

Also, I really really really want this comforter for my room:

Awesome. I can't find a picture. But here's the link. It would fit perfectly with the new vision I have for my room.

So would an actual headboard. Sigh. This is just a day of "wants" and frustrations.

April Vacation Goals

I am hoping to move my closet (a.k.a. second bedroom) into the actual closet that's in my bedroom, thus creating room for an actual second bedroom.

Right now I have an Ikea monstrosity in my second bedroom housing my clothing. I find that I don't put stuff away after I wear it/wash it and the room easily turns into a mess. Right now I have the Ikea set up, a three-drawer bureau and shoes in my second bedroom. In my actual bedroom I have a second three-drawer bureau and the skinny hard to utilize closet which holds dresses and some shoes.

A bit excessive, I know.

Here's the problem/challenge: my actual closet is narrow which makes it hard to maneuver in. Also, I can't put bars across it because it's the access point for my attic. So I have to be creative. In the back of the closet are two built in cubbies. I'm thinking of putting a shelf in each to act as storage. There are also three drawers below those cubbies.

So if I store workout clothes, sweatshirts, etc. in the built-in along with long sleeve shirts, short sleeve shirts and tank tops, I think that'd work. Oh and maybe skirts. Along the long wall where I can't put a bar I'm thinking of putting coat hooks and investing in some of these bad larry's  to hang my dresses on so that they're hanging, but out of the way. Maybe too, my button down shirts. I plan on utilizing under-bed storage for shoes and possibly some other sweatshirts. The three drawer bureau currently in my room will hold unmentionables, pjs and work pants (?).  I'm also thinking of getting a standing coat rack for in my bedroom to hang stuff that I have yet to put away.

And then the fun part of creating an actual second bedroom! Depending on if I get an actual roommate in the near future or not, I may buy a day bed, or a cheap twin bed, depending on price of each. That's coming secondary to whether or not I can pull this closet redo off or not. One more week to plan and then it's execution time!!

Another good thing!

So tomorrow night at the Zeiterion Theatre has RFK: The Journey to Justice which I was so excited to see.

So excited.

Spring semester 2009 I took a grad class at Bridgewater, Assassinations, with one of my favorite history professors- Dr. Thomas Turner. The grad students were assigned a 25 page research paper on an assassination of our choice, I chose Bobby Kennedy. After completing the paper I knew Bobby was my favorite Kennedy. I heart him.

So anyway, I saw that the Z was putting on this show and could. not. wait. for it to be February!

Well, it's February and I officially don't have enough money to buy a ticket to see the show tomorrow night. Super. My Aunt Dori works in the box office there, but I didn't feel comfortable asking her if she had any comp tickets. I know she wouldn't mind, but I just don't feel right asking. As I had that thought I was pulling into the parking lot at the gym and literally that minute my Aunt Dori was calling me! She offered me free tickets to the show- how freaking awesome!!!!!

I'm so excited to see this show tomorrow night, even though I'm probably going alone, nbd!

Plus my friendboy is on his way over to watch this weeks episode of Lost and some more episodes of Mad Men.

Love it!!

Hmmmmm...

I have two totally unrelated things to talk about right now.

1. New Kids on the Block Christmas charity show. December 20th in Boston. Tickets went on sale last Saturday. They're already sold out. I saw that they were doing the show, it's at the House of Blues which is small= close proximity to my loves. Small problem- I don't have the money right now for tickets.

So last Wednesday at dinner (my family goes out to dinner to the same restaurant every Wednesday before my brother has tutoring) I brought it up to my Mom and Dad, saying that I'd love to go and that the tickets would be a perfect Christmas or bday (January 3rd) gift and that they went on sale the following Saturday. My Mom said she wouldn't be in town, she left for Canada with my Nana on Thursday to visit my Auntie Jeanne. I figured she's usually really good with gifts and stuff, so that it'd be all set.

Then my Dad just called and was like, hey what are you doing etc. I said I was watching tv, thinking about going to the gym, the usual. He then asked about the New Kids tickets. I said they went on sale last Saturday, but that I didn't have the money to get them. He said, well if you want to order them you can put them on my card, I told him they were sold out (they are) but thanks for thinking of me. He said, oh, Mom just called and was asking. She said she told you to ask me because she wouldn't be here. I said I didn't think she said that to me, that I brought it up at dinner that time, but that was it. He said oh, oh well, well you'll get some Celtics tickets soon! Which I'm also super excited about going to, don't get me wrong. But was really hoping to see New Kids. And I'm half disappointed, half thinking I'm getting the tickets.

My question is this: My Mom is usually on the ball with gifts etc. and I'm wondering if the phone call today was to check and see if I bought the tickets for myself when in fact she had already bought them. Last Christmas she bought me tickets to see Britney Spears but I had already bought them for myself. No worries, I saw her twice so it all worked out- the tickets were for different shows. But I'm wondering if she was worried about repeating that mistake? Or if she really did think of it and mention it to Dad who offered for me to order the tickets. Or if Mom knew they were sold out already and could go that angle with the phone call. Or I'm just thinking about it too much.

Thoughts?

2. The Gym. I went Saturday. And Sunday. Planned on going tonight. My plan was foiled for my usual Butts and Guts Monday night class. I had a dentist appointment in Fall River at 3:30 and the class isn't until 7:30 so what the heck was I supposed to do in between? I don't really want to drive to the city twice in one day. I called my friend Kathy from Durfee to see if she wanted to watch Sex and the City (I've been slowly catching her up on the series) but she had already made plans. Mother effer. Now I'm comfy on the couch with LaLa and don't want to go out. But I feel guilty about my dinner and want to work out. But don't want to get off the couch to do it.

I'm def not making it to Butts and Guts, but maybe I could run. Hm.

Ok maybe I will go because before LaLa was all cute and cuddly next to me on the couch now she's whining at me and it's really annoying.

Just Jack!

I feel like Jack McFarland from Will and Grace on the episode when he's obsessed with buying stuff from ebay and keeps on being outbid by Dr. Danger I think it was, and he's running around on a scooter, well I guess it would be scooting around on a scooter, to make sure he bids in time to win whatever it is he's bidding on.

Long winded, sorry.

I am constantly checking ebay for domino magazines even though I won't have any money to purchase them until pay day Thursday, it's like I can't stop looking at them! I keep on thinking I'm just randomly going to come across a whole set of the magazines somewhere like at a random yardsale, or some flea market somewhere....yeah prob not going to happen.

In the meantime I'll just continue stalking ebay during my prep periods and downtime at home!

I'm contemplating

purchasing issues of Domino from ebay. I called the local library to see if they have/had copies and they don't. One local library did, and I called but they're closed on Monday, will be calling tomorrow.

I don't know why Domino has become my new obsession. But it has.

I guess it's better than crystal meth or something along those scary lines.

Another little tidbit about me btw, is that when I get something in my head I kind of go crazy trying to make it happen. Domino- google searches, calling local libraries, contemplating calling Boston Public libraries, ebay, you name it, I'm doing it. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. But I don't need to scare you away just yet with my "investigating" skills. All in good time.

Ooooooh

There are so many pretty things at Anthropologie that I would love for my house. I should be making a unit test right now but I'd rather add the pictures of what I want to this post....

For on top of my dresser:
In my bathroom, maybe for makeup brushes:
In living room on a shelf somewhere, or table:
On bookcase (note, in my rock collection when I was a kid I def had one or two of these lying around....)
And some fools gold!
Pretty for maybe bedroom or living room:
Just a cool skeleton key bottle opener, as a side note I wish the keys to my house were skeleton keys like my Gramma's:
Cool grey coral for living room or bedroom:
I hated chemistry (loved Mr. Poirier but hated the class) but I think these would look cool on display in the kitchen or maybe dining room:
Living room shelf or book case:
Library card drawer pulls, need I even say more? I'd love an old card catalog just for storage:
School house clock, because duh I'm a teacher! I feel like it would tick-tock loudly though, and it's kind of pricey (at $128- eek!)

Sigh....this makes me want to repaint my second bedroom, possibly repaint my bedroom, install shelves in my bathroom closet, shelves in my living room, art in my dining room and a bagillion other things. If only I had money....donations are gladly accepted!

Ugh back to the test...

Self-reflection.

I need to calm down. Maybe be a little more positive. Or at least not jump to conclusions. For someone who prides themselves on living by the motto, "We don't judge" I seem to judge pretty quickly.

The world can continue to turn, my paycheck was simply being held by one of the lovely women in the front office for safekeeping.

I'm scared to look at it though. I used to get paid every two weeks and am used to seeing that rather nice number. Going to getting paid every week, while amazing, means a smaller figure (although it all evens out in the end so I once again, and take a chill pill.)

Drum roll.....

Wow, not bad!

And it doesn't include the $130 or so I will get for a workshop I did last week.

Ok, I can finally relax.

Now I plan on really using this blog for what I intended, which is not a place to be negative and complain about money (although I'm sure that'll happen one more time or another.) A place to share laughs (usually at my own expense) and ridiculously awkward situations that I manage to get myself into...which reminds me...

Mr. Negitivity

That is what my Mom occasionally refers to my Dad as. My Gramma does it occasionally too. I don't mean to start the blog off on a negative note, but seeing as I need to vent to someone right now, and this is my current means of venting, you get to hear it (and by "you" I mean my cousin Nikki, the one person aware of my new blogging foray.)

So at my old teaching job we got a balloon check in June which covered what would have been our pay every two weeks throughout the summer. In theory it should last you until school begins again in September. I obviously ignore that theory and blow through it by say, mid- July. Luckily I worked all summer teaching summer school at that old school, making $30 an hour working 8-11 mon- fri and 12-4 mon- thurs. I should be flush with cash. Hemorrhaging in fact (to steal another line from a family member, this time my Dad.) But as anyone who knows me is probably aware, I am the worst budgeter/saver on the face of the earth.

Proof you ask? My registration is expired on my car and I can't afford the $90 renewal fee (why $90? oh because said father insists I have a fancy five-number plate which I've become accustomed to and wouldn't' deign to have a normal four digit two letter plate like all the normal people out there in Massachusetts have which only costs about $40 to renew.) I have been driving my Dad's pick-up truck in lieu of driving around with an expired plate which according to the lovely SRO (school resource officer [town cop who's job it is to roam the high school work at breaking up fights]) would cost around $200 ($100 ticket $100 tow.) He came into my classroom last Friday during my prep to inform me of this (kids don't fight here at the new school like they did at the old school, he has nothing better to do apparently.) Way too much information there.

Long story not so short- today is pay day, I have been waiting for it since the third week of August. The paperwork I filled out when I got my new job included direct deposit information. I checked my account this morning- nothing except a negative balance (only a little bit negative.) I checked the paper we received at the beginning of the school year about paychecks- should be in our mailboxes by 11:00- NEGATIVE. Empty mailbox. Mother effer. I don't even have enough gas in my Dad's truck to effing drive home (I live around the corner) let alone renew my registration (first errand of the afternoon) and buy a new computer cord for my laptop which my dog so lovingly chewed the week before school started (second errand of the afternoon.)

What. The. Fuck.

I have a bad feeling about this. I predict that I am going to have to wait until next pay period to receive my first check. Which means I'm either royally fucked or I'm going to have to have the dreaded "I have no money can I borrow some" conversation with my parents which is so. not. in. my. plan. for. the. week.

Hopefully I return to my classroom with better news. Update to follow.