Renee to the rescue!!!!

A very good friend has offered to grab lunch with my at Joe's so I won't have to suffer the shame and humiliation of using my birthday certificate alone- love her!!!

Yay, Saturday school is almost over, heading to my parents to start some laundry, then the gym and lunch with Renee!!

Happy weekend to you all!

Oh and one other thing!

If you subscribe to the email list from Not Your Average Joe's every year on your bday you get a coupon for a free meal and dessert. So mine expires tomorrow.

I have no one to go with for dinner tonight. I'm deciding between eating dinner at the bar alone and taking my dessert to go, or getting the whole thing to go.

Cue depression.

One is the loneliest number.

Well, one and a half I guess if you count LaLa.

All I've been watching lately is Sex and the City because my tv shows are all on vacation, or something, and nothing is on really. I just saw the episode before Carrie meets Jack Burger (who after re-watching is so needy and annoying it's ridiculous, he has no self-confidence it's laughable) and she admits at her book launch party that she is really lonely to Miranda. That's me, minus the book launch party.

It's a combination of a lot of things. In no particular order: having to rely on my Dad when my heat doesn't work and feeling like the daughter who won't ever grow up and be independent, having nothing to do last Thursday night and waiting for it to be 8:00 so I could go to bed at a semi-normal bedtime without feeling like a total loser, being single for five years, friends who all have significant others, going from a job where I had a great group of colleagues who became really good friends to a job where I have colleagues who are great, but not really my friends....and did I mention being single for five years? Yeah.

I think it's really been the change in jobs which has brought this to the surface. Lunch time used to be the highlight of the day, probably just like for the kids. We would laugh, yell at each other, make fun of each other, get mad at each other and everything in between, including a chair or two being thrown, but it was awesome. Now I eat lunch alone in my classroom because the teacher's room is just too serious for my liking. They talk about school policy, students violating the plagiarism rule, town politics- all great topics every once in a while, but not something I really want to talk about on my 20 minute break from the kids. So after a few attempts at eating in the teacher's room, I just stay in my room. I actually never really leave my classroom except to make copies or occasionally visit. I know I'm not making enough of an effort here.

So when you take away those friend interactions that I had on a regular basis both inside and out of school, I've been relying on my core group of old friends more than I have in the past. Which isn't their fault. They're awesome. I don't get to see them as much as I'd like though. It's a bunch of factors, me being available more than before, us all being super busy, and I don't want to use this as a factor but it is, they all have significant others which takes up a huge chunk of their time- as they should! It most certainly should! I totally get that. I feel like the balance is off-kilter because I don't have someone to spend that "other" time with, which would take a lot of pressure of my friends. Does that make sense?

Take for instance, my birthday last weekend. A lot of friends couldn't make it for a variety of reasons. Relatively understandable. The hard part for me when stuff like that happens is that sometimes I feel like I put in more effort than I feel like people are investing in me. My friends are all I have. I don't have anyone else as a "default" to celebrate things with, be sad about things with, run errands with, go shopping with- they're it. Which is an unfair amount of pressure on them. I definitely see and know that. It's not fair to them at all. But to use the phrase I hate more than anything else in the world- it is what it is- I have more time for them than they have for me.

I feel like this sounds super selfish and childish. Like a spoiled little girl. But it doesn't change that it's how I feel.

That's also why I think I've been relying on a guy friend of mine probably more than I should. We used to joke that we were each other's "interim" boyfriend/girlfriend. Someone to hang out with, go out to eat with etc. in between significant others. Problem is that has gotten a bit more complicated as of late, and again, because I seem to have more "down time" than I did before, it's on my mind more than it probably would have been before. But also in my defense, the context of our friendship has changed since summer, so that's also playing a factor.

Or maybe I'm just too much in my own head and it's because it's December, way too snowy for my liking and freezing that I'm stuck inside over analyzing shit? Winter blues?

Does anyone else find this time of year extra trying? Am I overreacting? In desperate need of sun and warmth? Thoughts? Feel free to put on your honestpants and give me your two cents!

Domino Update

Since posting that I wished to acquire the entire collection of Domino magazines published from 2005--2009 I have come very close to meeting my goal. Only six issues are evading my capture! August 2007, October 2006, May 2006, March 2006, Jan/Feb 2006 and October 2005. I am *so*close* to having them all.

Which, let's discuss. Is this weird? That I have a strong desire to own all the published issues of a home magazine?

Hmmm....I find it a bit odd, but I'm really excited to have them all one day.

Weirdo. But I embrace it.

Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy!

I hated Ren and Stimpy as a sidenote.

But I am in such a great mood because it's finally Friday!!!!

This week has just dragged on and on. Let's recap because my kids are taking a quest (quiz/test) and I'm bored.

Monday- school, detention, stuff at home, gym, chat. The chat was productive. Not conclusive per say, but productive. We'll see what happens from here on out. I'm glad it was brought up and semi-productive. I went to the gym again Tuesday for kickboxing but was sadly disappointed when it wasn't my favorite instructor Jimmy but my arch-nemesis!!! The Lady who throughout class yells out "OUI OUI" I don't know how you spell what she was yelling, it was not "yes yes" in French, but in any case, super annoying. She was teaching the class for the night. Ugh. So I left halfway through. Annoying. Because of that I returned to the gym Wednesday night and did Zumbaa and yoga then the treadmill for a half an hour. Go me.

I was planning on going to the gym last night but didn't because I was exhausted and it was one of the most boring nights of my life. I was counting down to 8:00 so it was a semi-acceptable time to go to bed. Not only did I fall asleep probably by 8:30 but I pressed sleep on my alarm until almost 6 am this morning. I usually get out of bed by 5:30. I must have been tired and in need of sleep.

I am sooo excited for tonight- after school I'm going to my parents to do some more laundry, then the end of the freshman girls basketball game, the beginning of the girls varsity game and then to Durfee for the boys varsity game with Sasha who I haven't seen in FOREVER. I'm looking forward to seeing her very much!!

I'm also hoping and praying that both NSTAR and the Portland Group (people who manufacture my hotwater heater/boiler) figure out why the eff my boiler shuts off when the temp is in the teens and below because they're both meeting at my house with my Dad this morning. Actually they have been there for approximately 51 minutes. This weekend is supposed to be cold at night and I'd love it to not have to wake up to a frozen house if possible. Thanks.

Welcome to 2010.

Sadly, vacation is over. Tear. It was a good one though. Let's recap, shall we?

Ok. So first day of vacation (Tuesday 12/22) technically was the last day of school and I picked up my sister at the train station in Providence and we then hightailed it to Boston for the Celtics game:

Sadly my "husband" as I like to refer to him as, did not play (Kevin Garnett for those

of you not in the know) and not only did he not play, he wasn't even freaking there!!! I was not happy, but it turned out to be a really good game. We had a good time.

I worked Wed and Thurs at be jeweled and then got a little tipsy Christmas eve. Started with a glass of champagne after we closed be jeweled, continued with two more glasses at my house and then at my Aunt's house that turned into a glass of wine and some V&T's....whoops.

Christmas day woke up bright and early at 6:45 am and went to my parents to open presents. I got some really great gifts- New Kids on the Block dvd, For Like Ever poster, gloves from Aldo I wanted, tshirt from etsy that I LOVE, can't tell you how much I love it, umm and the freaking Parson's desk from West Elm- um, hi. It's beautiful. I heart it with all my heart. You can see it and the rest of the mess that was/is my living room in this pic:

And once I get a mat for my For Like Ever poster, that's going on the wall right above the desk! Love it!!

Ok, so after Christmas died down things were still busy. Saturday after Christmas I don't remember what I did, probably slept in, I also believe I went to the gym. Lightbulb- oh and I also went to a friend's house for an "Uglier Sweater than Mike's" party. Sunday went to see Wicked with my fam in Providence (was supposed to go to the Pats game with Josh and Renee and her husband but because Mom bought the Wicked tickets without double-checking, I was double-booked) and I feel like I had something Sunday night but that's eluding me as well.

Monday went to Providence Place with my Mom and four little cousins and brother so they could play games at Dave and Buster's which was fun, but really tiring. Don't think I did anything Monday night. Tuesday I went to the Ashland Public Library to pick up some copies of Domino magazine they were holding for me (and as the librarian ever so nicely said [sarcasm], they had been holding them for a while) and then the Natick Collection. I was looking for a dress for my birthday and also I really wanted to go to Anthropologie. There needs to be one of those way closer to me. I really love that place. So I got a dress there for my birthday which of course I can't find a picture of online to post here, but it's really cute. Navy, white and teal striped, belted waist, super cute. I also go the most amazing bra ever at Aerie, comfortable and quite the push-up! I've found my new favorite place to buy bras now, fyi.

Then on the way home from the mall I got a call from my Dad that my heat had gone off, and would not go back on. Super. I was supposed to go to Tokyo with the Bunco girls for dinner but did not make it because I was running around buying electric heaters so my pipes wouldn't freeze and you know, explode. Ugh. Slept at my parents house Tuesday night, and finally restarted the heat around noon on Wednesday. Went to the gym and then back home to like reorganize my life. Josh came by for dinner and we hung out until he had to go to work and I went to bed.

Wednesday night I got invited by Mike (ugly sweater Mike) to go to the Venus de Milo for New Years Eve. I've NEVER done anything dressy and fun for New Years so I was really excited to go. I had my work cut out for my looking for a dress for New Years eve on New Years eve. Especially when that morning I was going to Ikea with my Mom. Bright and early we went to Ikea, I got a plant for my dining room, a frame for my For Like Ever poster, another set of silverwear, more wine glasses, shower curtains and they didn't have the shelf I wanted for my bedroom. Oh and I got a bedside light for my room and some storage boxes. We stopped at the Galleria on the way home for me to check out Forever 21 and H&M but no luck there for a dress. When I got home my sister and I ran to the Dartmouth Mall- nada, then Target- nada. I was thisclose to going to the Target in Wareham to see if they had a dress in my

size but the time stopped me. It was like 4:00 and I needed to be ready by 6:30 so by the time I went to Wareham and back, that wouldn't have worked out well for me. So I decided to search for navy tights and wear the dress I was planning on wearing for my bday.

Apparently navy tights are the most difficult thing in the world to find. Back to Target- nothing, Macy's- nothing, CVS- nothing, FINALLY at Walgreen's they had some. Rush home, stop quickly at a liquor store because I am in need of a drink (cheap champagne- perfect) and start to get ready. Shower all that fun stuff, and finally put the tights on. So not the same navy as in the dress. Perfect. I decide eff it, no tights for me I'm wearing the dress with my J.Simp brown heels and I'm good to go. Here's a picture of the dress, and if you make note of my face in the picture, you will have an indication of a. how fun New Years eve is at Venus and b. how I may have drank a tad bit too much on New Years eve at the Venus (Sorry for the sideways pic, I can't figure out how to rotate it):

Here's a better view of the dress, and me looking more sober-ish:

Ok, so New Years Eve was fun, pretty much like prom for adults. With alcohol.

So needless to say I had quite the hangover headache New Years day. I woke up early, but stayed in bed until like 11:00 regrouping. Didn't do much during the day, cleaned, organized my house and don't remember what I did that evening.

Saturday the 2nd was my birthday night out. Technically my birthday was yesterday but because who wants to celebrate on a Sunday night, Sat night it was! I had a dilemma though, because I had worn the dress I was originally planning on wearing already- nothing to wear! Enter my like fourth trip to Providence Place with my sister of the vacation. I ended up getting this shirt from J.Crew and LOVING it (a lot of visuals today):

Sadly a few people who I really was looking forward to celebrating with couldn't make it out for my birthday but I still managed to have an AMAZING night! Here's my favorite picture of the evening. I believe Mrs. Mare Studios herself was taking the picture (friend Renee, self-proclaimed nickname) and the instant she took the pic a poor girl fell down the stairs behind my sister, cousin and myself and this was our reaction:

Fun night. Then later that night I made my first official screw-up of 2010 (I'm pretending it happened while I was still 27, so it's not part of my year 28) which I don't want to get into the details of, but let's just say it's a doozie. Onwards and upwards right? Learn from mistakes.

So when I finally dragged myself out of bed on my actual birthday I discovered my heat had shut off and would not turn back on. Again. I turned the space heaters back on and went back to bed. It turned on at 10:30 only to shut off a few minutes later and not turn back on for a while. I was pleasantly surprised by a visit from Meaghan who couldn't make it out the night before, which was awesome to see her pull into my driveway. We disected the evening, the screw-up, I gave her her Christmas/birthday gifts and she gave my mine. Oh. My. God. I LOVE IT. Small background: high school was awesome, I had amazing friends, we had a high school lip sync contest, my friends and I kicked ass in it, highlight of high school. For me anyway. Well, in cleaning and moving Meaghan discovered that her future-husband (who was one of the emcee's of the lip sync) had saved our score card from the judges. So she framed it for me. Ohmygosh, words can explain how neat it was to see that! I didn't even know it existed! (We got a perfect score btw.)

We then talked about wedding details (they're getting married in August) and she was off to run errands. I stayed home periodically attempting to restart my heat- fail. I couldn't shower I couldn't go anywhere. I was also snowed in. I could've shoveled to go to my parents house to shower but I was feeling annoyed by the whole sitch and refused to do that. I sat on my couch pouting, watching Sex and the City, facebooking and regretting the screw up. So FINALLY at like 2:00 in the afternoon I was able to get the heat going, finally showered and headed to my parents house. Watched the end of the Pats game there, listened to my brother and mother work on his research paper on Al Cappone, sat on the couch and ate onion dip with chips and veggies. I was in a foul mood. I felt guilty and selfish for feeling that way, but I felt like what a boring birthday, waiting for heat to come on on not only my bday but the last day of vacation.

For dinner my Mom made baked stuffed shrimp which was AMAZING and she even got me green beans which I love. So we then had cake and ice cream and I opened presents. My Mom paid for the stuff I got at Ikea so that was my gift from her, and from my brother and sister I got earrings from be jeweled that I really wanted, can't find a pic online, but I love them and a garage door opener from my Dad!!! Sooo excited about that! I love having a garage and don't really complain about having to get out of the car, open the door, get back in the car, drive into the garage, lock the car and then shut the garage door. Reverse for leaving the house. I mean hey, I could have no garage. But ohmygosh this is going to be amazing! Hopefully it gets installed soon, can't wait!!

So on the way home from my parents (I was tired and not feeling so hot after too much onion dip and just kind of down in the dumps mentally) I started thinking about a situation I have going on, which involved a guy, but it's not where I want it to be. It's just ok the way it is, but it's not really making me super happy. In the card from my parents my Mom wrote she and Dad really want me to be happy (not that I think they don't think I am, but that that's what they want for me in this new year) and I think a change in this situation would make me happier. So I'm going to have a conversation this evening that I think will change that. That is if I have the balls to actually have the conversation. Fingers crossed.

And that brings us to today. Last night I went home and went to bed pretty early in preparation for waking up bright and early for work today. Knock on wood the heat was working when I got up, and today was an ok day at work. Glad it's over. I have some prep work for tomorrow, but then I'm heading home to do some laundry (I have like two giant piles of dirty clothes), have dinner, and head to the gym to run and *hopefully* have the conversation I need to have. I have a knot in my stomach thinking about it. I just need to put my honestpants on an lay it all on the table. And take it from there. Good luck to me.

Thanks for bearing with my on this post if you made it to reading all the way to the end! Happy 2010 to you all!!

Woah look out!!!

For the first time ever I have plans for New Years Eve!!!

I will be looking for a sparkly dress ASAP!!!