So on my practically daily trip to Target this afternoon to get candy for my students (they've been awesome this week), pick up a prescription and pictures of my previous semester students to put up in my classroom, I went to check out the price of the Pride and Prejudice (the one with Colin Firth, I still have not seen it and I hear it's amazing) dvd- I do this often because it's $30 which is a lot and I always check to see if it's gone on sale, it hadn't- BUT I did find Dawson's Creek seasons 1 and 2 on DVD together for $20!!!! Score!!!!
Watching Dawson's Creek from the very beginning, as I started to tonight, has literally brought me back to 1997 when I would watch this show and anxiously anticipate the day when I would get my first kiss, or better yet (!) my first boyfriend. Literally, I feel that same anticipation, longing, desperation, frustration, excitement and sadness I experienced when I was 15 years old. I wanted those things so badly.
Except it's different this time. It's different because I know how amazing it is to have a first kiss. I know how great it is to have a boyfriend. I've had both of those things since watching the show the first time around and it was awesome. Definitely lived up to and even exceeded the hype and expectations I had created in my head from watching seasons of Dawson's Creek and Felicity.
Problem is, watching the show now, as a 28 year old, may actually make those feelings worse and magnified because I know how great it is to have someone there for you, to want to be with you, and to want you- and that may actually be worse than not knowing what it's like to have any of those things in the first place.
Knowing what it's like, how incredible it is, and then losing it only to have to wish and hope for it all over again- I'd take the 15 year old version of what I'm feeling as opposed to the 28 year old version any day.
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